Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
