ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize