i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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