I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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