My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize