ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize