I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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