do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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