Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Houston, we have a blender
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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