in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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