i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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