i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
