Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
