just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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