did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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