are you still at the devil's house?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize