so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
