His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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