He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
