Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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