Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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