Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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