Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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