Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he thought i was a dude.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
