Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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