I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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