Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
