Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
