Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
