She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
