he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
