Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
