have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
