Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
