Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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