i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
This is my gift to your gina
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
