i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
