just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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