My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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