Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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