Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
