I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize