i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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