Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
