And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
how does that bad decision feel?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
