Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
