no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
