all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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