lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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