That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
