He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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