i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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