Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
