I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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