Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
