Just took my morning after pill in the library
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
