Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
