Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
