somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
