So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
